Diane Ladd's ADD to Life CoachingFinding Focus and Fun

“I Don’t Have Enough Time!”

As a coach, I hear people say this every day! I usually reply to this complaint with something sassy like “Hmmm, that’s interesting, I thought everyone had 24 hours each day.” The client will sometimes find this funny (sometimes not) and continue with, “But I am really busy . . . I don’t have time to . . .”

In his 1968 book, Unkempt Thoughts, Polish satirist, Stanislaw Jerszy Lec said, “People find life entirely too time-consuming.” Although this was written 41 years ago , it has never rung more true than the present moment!

We say in agreement, “Yes, life is too time-consuming!” It devours all of our waking moments. Our to-do lists seem to get longer by the minute, accumulating tasks faster than we have time to complete them. “Life is too time-consuming ” . . . let’s think about this for a minute . . .

What is time anyway?

According to Wikipedia, “Time is a component of the measuring system used to sequence events, to compare the durations of events and the intervals between them, and to quantify the motions of objects.” We notice that time seemingly happens in one direction from the past to the present and into the future. One minute, like one inch, is a measurement of this sequence. This gives us the same distance between seconds, minutes, hours and days. This happens each day over and over again — every week, month and year – to everyone living on the planet earth.  And to everyone in the past, present (and possibly) the future! Pretty crazy!

Time Management – UGH!

Lately, I’ve had a real problem with this term! I’ve NEVER really liked it. This aversion most likely stems from the past advice of well-meaning people who would say, “You really should manage your time better,” or “You would get more accomplished if you learned some time management skills.” Lately, It just doesn’t make sense to me.

What the heck is time management anyway?!! I have never seen it as a college major or career path. I do know that everyone is working really hard, trying desperately to manage this elusive thing called time. Tons of self-help books, programs and seminars are read, studied and attended on this very subject each day! And yet, Everyone has “problems” with Time Management!

We saw the definition of time, so let’s look at the definition of management, according to Wikipedia:“Management” (from Old French ménagement “the art of conducting, directing”, from Latin manu agere “to lead by the hand”)

OK, let’s put it together. If we could manage time, we would be able to:

Conduct or direct our measuring system used to sequence and compare the durations of events: Leading this measurement of intervals between events by the hand ,thus controlling how we quantify the motions of objects. WHAT?!!!

This sounds a bit like time travel to me! We cannot manage our measuring system used to sequence events but we can manage the events within the sequence. I know this sounds petty to some, but the distinction can make a world of difference to others. Let me explain . . .

“I Don’t have Enough Time!”

This well-used statement is a self-limiting belief. Time is something you cannot control and when you believe you don’t have enough — it is what it is. We cannot turn back the clock or get an extra hour or two. We can’t manage the measurement of intervals and stretch the minutes and hours of our day — not yet anyway. So let’s turn Time Management into . . .

Event Management

I’m thinking: Gosh! It’s not possible to manage time, but I certainly can manage or plan the events in my own life! It is possible to conduct or direct  what I do and when I do it.

Personally, I enlist the help of my coach with this ultimate event planning. Coaching allows me time in my week to sort out the details and be certain that I am managing the events of my life the way that I want. Also, as a coach, I  help others conduct or direct the events in their lives and by leading them by the hand,  together we co-create and plan their events!

It’s helpful when we hire an Event Planner to help us coordinate a big, fun event in our lives, like a wedding or party. We want the event to go smoothly. Maybe we don’t want to be embarrassed by forgetting an important detail. Ultimately, we want all who are part of the event to feel important and to have a great time. I can’t think of a more important event to me than MY LIFE!

When you hire a coach, you are hiring an event planner/manager for your life! If you:

• are embarrassed by forgetting important details
• want the people in your life to feel important
• and want to make the series of events you are living more enjoyable for you and your loved ones  

It may be TIME to give me a call!

ADHD/ADD (for our purposes here, I’ll call it ADD) is a biological, nuerobiological brain difference that has many symptoms. Not all people with ADD have the same characteristics, and ADD almost always manifests itself differently in each person.

One symptom of ADD is inattentiveness. The crazy thing is, children and adults with ADD can pay attention to things they enjoy doing and sometimes do this to the point of hyperfocus. “She doesn’t have ADD,” a loved one, teacher or parent might say, “She can pay attention when she wants to!”

Unfortunately, some things that people with ADD find uninteresting, boring or difficult can be impossible to listen to, look at or do. I know this lack of attention happens to everyone at some point, but those with ADD experience it most of the time, and it has a major effect on their day-to-day life. Parents are baffled when their child is able to spend hours in front of a video game, but can’t sit for ten minutes to do homework.

People may not even realize that their attention is being diverted. All they know is that they “never have enough time,” or that “things take them longer” than other people.

If you feel your attention is being diverted, or you find yourself never having enough time, try Your 3 Steps to Attention:

1. Estimate how long your task may take. This is a very important step! Those with ADD do not have a good grasp of the passage of time and usually have NO IDEA how long it takes to do things. You don’t have to be right or perfect, just take a guess and write it down.
2. Schedule the task. When do you have enough time to begin and complete this task? Pencil it in.
3. Time yourself.  Set a timer, start your task and complete it.

Whether or not your first attempt at Your 3 Steps is successful, is not the important part. The important piece of this is what you learn from the experience. You may want to contemplate the following coaching questions:

• Was the estimated time accurate?
• Did you overestimate or underestimate the time?
• What kept you on task?
• What caused you to get off task?
• What worked to get you back on?
• What strategies can you use to stay on task?

ADHD/ADD Coaching can help you to become aware of how ADD is affecting your day-to-day life and to build strategies. Your 3 Steps to Attention is a tool I use with my clients to build awareness and develop workable techniques. The coaching piece is vital for accountability, brainstorming strategies and reworking the plan to get the best results for you. If you want to learn more about ADHD/ADD Coaching, contact me!

Last week, I had a great time presenting my workshop “I’ll Stop Procrastinating . . . Someday!” Breaking out of the Cycle with DIRECT Goal Setting at the Metrowest Procrastinators Meetup. I proudly introduced myself as the Queen of Procrasti Nation; a title I have held for quite some time now!

There were over 20 members present. All came to the workshop ready to set some goals and to move forward with making steps towards reaching them.

What makes us put off until tomorrow what we should have done last week? Is it fear of failure, feeling overwhelmed, busyness, or maybe it’s just not that important to you? Or, is it?

It’s possible that procrastination is your call to action! When you DO the stuff you are putting off, you may see yourself and your abilities from a whole new perspective!

What have you been putting off?

When you do this, how will it change your life?

Call me and let’s talk about action steps you can take.

According to the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH),  ”ADHD is one of the most common childhood disorders and can continue through adolescence and into adulthood. Symptoms include difficulty staying focused and paying attention, difficulty controlling behavior, and hyperactivity (over-activity).”

The NIMH States that ADHD has three subtypes:

• Predominantly hyperactive-impulsive
• Predominantly inattentive
• Combined hyperactive-impulsive and inattentive

ADHD has many symptoms and affects each person differently. Working one-on-one with a personal, professional ADHD Coach can help you to build strategies and build skills to manage any ADHD symptoms that are causing you difficulty. Find out more about ADHD on their website.

Congratulations to the members who attended our first meetup! Thank you for sharing your stories with us and helping us to know how ADD affects you and your life. We are all at different stages of this journey — either just diagnosed or diagnosed several years back. However, the common theme is:  No matter where we are, there is much to be learned from the wisdom of others. 

If you’d like to join us go to:

http://www.meetup.com/Andover-ADD-Support-Group/

Meetings are on select Tuesday evenings from 7:30-9:00 p.m.

THREE GROUPS TO CHOOSE FROM:

First Tuesday of the month:  Adults with ADD

Second Tuesday of the month:  Parents of Children with ADD

Third Tuesday of the month:  My Spouse has ADD

Meeting Location:  Kismet Wellness Center, Andover, MA

You should join one or more of these meetups if:

• Your symptoms of ADD have gotten in the way of things you want to do
• Having these symptoms keeps you from being the way you want to be
• You’re ready to break out of the paradigm and make steps toward living life the way you want!

In addition . . .  you should join if you want to meetup with some really great people!!