Diane Ladd's ADD to Life CoachingFinding Focus and Fun

One major complaint from non-ADD partners is that they don’t feel listened to or understood. It is possible to have effective conversations, but you need to do some advance planning and understand the best ways to capture your partner’s attention.

Here are 10 tips to help you communicate better with your ADD partner:

1. Tell your partner that you have something to discuss. Make an appointment:  better yet, plan a date!
2. When talking about something important, make sure it’s at a time when your S.O. (significant other) listens and focuses best.
3. If you are having a planned conversation, try to anticipate any distractions or interruptions that might get him/her off track. Agree ahead of time to not answer the phone. Also, make sure the TV and computer are off, or hire a babysitter to minimize interruptions.
4. Don’t talk with your partner when he/she is involved in another activity.
5. Be detailed in your explanations of how you feel. There are many degrees of mad. Maybe you feel annoyed instead of furious. Use strings of words — angry/hurt/left-out.
6. People with ADD often interrupt because they are afraid they will forget. Have a pen and paper handy to write down thoughts.
7. If your S.O. can’t sit still, give them something to fidget with while you’re talking or take a walk together.
8. To stay on topic, you may want to write down a few key points to address.
9. Avoid judgments or blame. Paraphrasing is a non-judgmental way to show your partner he/she is understood. When this tool is practiced in relationships it reduces misunderstandings.
10. Take a problem-solving approach and turn your complaint into a request.

To learn more visit my S.O. page.

I hear this so many times. I get calls from parents, bosses and spouses, wanting help for the people in their lives who have ADD. They are surprised when I suggest that they hire a coach for themselves to help them learn more about this disorder. “A coach?” they exclaim, “But I don’t have ADD.” 

Wel, I hate to break it to you, but if someone you love, work with or that you see every day has ADD, you have ADD, too! Instead of breaking up with, firing or disowning this individual, accept that ADD is in your life to stay.

ADD does not have a cure and cannot be controlled by willpower. Your spouse cannot “pull it together,” or “get their act together.” But, they will be able to learn skills through treatment, which may include a combination of medication, therapy, coaching and lots of hard work over time. In addition, your child cannot “just focus” and “become more organized.” Medication will help, and coaching can assist your child in learning skills he/she can use for a lifetime. Again, these changes happen over time and with lots of hard work.

I wish I had a magic wand that would “take away” the difficult or more challenging aspects of this disorder, and leave the really cool things that ADD brings to a person, a family, an organization, and to this world! But what I do offer is ADD coaching, even for those who “don’t have ADD,” but interact with someone who does! Join a group and find out how coaching can help!